i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
