What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
