All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
