it was like his penis was on wheels.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
