I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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