I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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