just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
