Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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