the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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