I didn't shave. On purpose
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
