everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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