Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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