I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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