help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We need a shit load of segways right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
