Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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