I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
