Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
