i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We need to rekindle our bromance
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
