just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
