He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
