I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
