Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
