I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
