I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
