and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
