I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
