Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
