I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
