last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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