i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
