that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
