I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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