8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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