So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
