The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
