so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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