You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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