So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
