R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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