Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
