I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
