hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
