Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
