I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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