Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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