Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
