Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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