Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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