I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
