At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
