I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
please come you make the beer taste better
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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